Welcome back to “Marry, Blox, Kill.” Here’s a little refresher on how the game is played…
Marry: You marry what you love (or what’s close to death and as rich as Uncle Scrooge.)
Blox: The verb form of “blind box,” the act of buying a blind box Vinylmation not knowing what’s inside. (Not to be confused with when people go online and look for case layouts and then pillage sets for chasers. That’s called being an @$$)
Kill: You kill what you hate… or whoever you mildly dislike, if you’re a professional football player. In this column, we’ll stick to killing what we hate.
So let’s get started.
Marry: 2013 RunDisney Mickey
Ladies, what you want to avoid is the Hero-to-Zero trap. You know the guys I mean, the ones who go from buying roses to picking noses. From charming hunk to junkfood junkie. No, what you want is a self-motivator, and that’s precisely what RunDisney Mickey is. He runs for him. He enjoys the cold wind grating against his oversized vinyl cheeks and the endorphins releasing into a fireworks spectacular for the mind. This guy won’t go from takin’ you out to a case of gout. He’ll keep it tight. And oh yeah, its one of the most beautifully simple renditions of Mickey we’ve seen on the vinyl mold.
Blox: Park Series 13
Like a lot of people, when I first saw these I was thoroughly unimpressed. Its not a BAD set, but c’mon, this is the PARK SERIES. They’ve already knocked it down to an 8-piece set, and yet the quality ratio is lower than ever.
But then I saw the full 360 images, and man… these babies got BACK. Have you ever seen a set were the back sides were more crucial to the figures’ success? In fact, many of the back sides are heads and tails (buh-dum-dish) above the fronts.
(Far right, Claire de Room droppin’ da boom)
Claire de Room? Dang, girl… I guess that one shouldn’t surprise us:
(No caption needed.)
So yes, some of the back-sides are fantastic (see Baltar’s article from back in the day about the backs of vinyls here.) But that still doesn’t change my opinion of the set too much; I wouldn’t buy a car for the tail lights. But I think they’re worthy of a blox or two, which, for the Park series, is a bit of a let down.
Kill: King Louie, Fraud Edition (Animation 4 Combo Topper)
(The Oscar to Disney Afternoon Series 2 King Louie’s George Bluth)
“But Scuba, didn’t you have us marrying this dude in the last edition of Marry, Blox, Kill?” No, I had us marrying the Disney Afternoon Series 2 King Louie. And THAT is the problem. Are there not enough characters in the Disney universe to avoid repeats, especially repeats within a couple months of each other? This is basically the same vinyl, but without his stylish hat and Magnum PI Hawaiian shirt, and we all know the saying, “the clothes make the monkey.”
Faux Custom: C3P0, Droids Cartoon Edition
Since Disney seems intent on mining every last nugget of our sentimental yearning for our childhood with sets like Disney Afternoon, why not stretch beyond the Disney Universe to a long time ago (the 80’s) in a galaxy far, far away from good taste where a cartoon called “Star Wars: Droids” was considered awesome by a bunch of kids who would’ve eaten Star Wars branded lima beans. Here’s my 3P0 “faux custom”:
Seriously, youngins, Droids was a real thing. I swear. And it was terrible. And you can watch it on YouTube (not recommended.)
Once again, if anyone else enjoys making 2D faux customs, please send ’em along to ScubaOwl@VinylmationKingdom.com and I’ll feature the best and brightest in this column.
Til next time!